Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
