...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
