Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
