we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
You made out with two different species that night
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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