I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
