sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize