I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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