Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
