In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.