There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
How does one acquire holy water?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate