So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
