but the lizard people decide everything anyway
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
