he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
