I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Randomize
