i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
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