Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
