I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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