Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
