she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Randomize
