Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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