we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
