She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
this will be a night to untag.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
