Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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