i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
this boner is exhausting
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Randomize
