Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
