Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Randomize
