It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
