Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
