Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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