ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
