Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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