thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
