well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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