Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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