If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
