I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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