so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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