I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
