Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
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