ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
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He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
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High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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