I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Randomize
