i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
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Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
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I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize