I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
