How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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