Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
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You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
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we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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