and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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