fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
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Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
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