Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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