it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
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afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
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If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
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