if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
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