im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Shame - the story of my life.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
