Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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