ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I smell stomach acid.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
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