At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
