pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
