In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
