put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Then you guys just all showered together...?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
