What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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