Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
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