Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
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Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
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