Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
